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by mitchell bolstridge

24.11.24

the feeling of being tired from a long car ride is from being in a loud cabin, going from 50 to 52 decibels, has a significant effect on us. this unconscious effect is similar to burnout; not something that we’re aware of how it effects us. i think that noise has the exact same effect to me as the noise of life that fatigues me, there’s always something to think about. projects plague the mind, concepts ferment in you brain vying for brain space. all of these things effect us, even if we’re unaware of their strings.

a helpful reminder that a friend of mine has “we’re just more intelligent monkeys that think that we have it figured out”. he’s right, we don’t have it all sorted, despite the way we insist that we do. i like going on car rides, getting to a place that i want to be that has what i want there is amazing that we can do that. seeing family, going on a tramp, exploring the world that’s outside our regular fields. that’s where we want to be. outside of the everyday car trip to the same place that we are five of the seven days. outside of our regular fog clouds of noise. but i can also understand that it can be an effort to get to where i want to get to.

Remove the guilt

i like getting to my destination, but it’s important to remember to stop my car, stretch my legs and enjoy that i'm not there yet. i'm not going to make it better for myself if i just stay in the cabin for the whole journey. the enjoyment of the trip is as important as getting to the destination. so how do i make it easier on myself in the present moment. 

it’s natural to feel guilt for stopping during the journey, but why, i’m not a machine, i’m an emotional being and i cannot ignore the existence of my emotions and expect to be emotionally fulfilled. it takes intentional effort to listen to your inner voice, and then additional effort to respond. which is honestly too much sometimes. so i’ve found it best to just voice the thoughts and wait for the ability to complete them.

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made by mitchell bolstridge '24

remove the guilt